Dark Horse Arts and Sciences

Siva tere kuch bi dikhai na de,

Khuda iss saza se,

Khuda iss saza se,

Khuda iss saza se…..,

Riha hi na de…..

Siva Tere sung by Madhubanti Bagchi, composed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali

There is this haunting melancholic note with this composition that is haunting me at this dead of the night. Sleep has vanished from the pupils of my eyes. I sit on my bed, legs crossed, breathing in the scent of melancholy, gazing at the roof overhead. I didn’t get tire of the view. It’s past midnight, an hour when the depth of the night could really trace into your mind and soul, yet I am seated there, unhinged by the darkness of the hour, contemplating my life over this musical piece. The track automatically switches to the next.

Muskurahat ko bhi aane pe
Mazaa aane lage
Gum ko bhi itni khushi do
Woh muskurane lage

Muskurahat sung by Arijit Singh, composed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali

The composer is trying to put a smile on your face as suggestive of the lyrics, yet the song, in no circumstances, does that as it would somehow pull you into a state of trance, the same effect as the previous one. I sit numb and speechless, unable to utter even a syllable. Right now, I am like a spirit sprung up from the other world, static, meditative and completely numb. I sit there, just letting time pass by. I am drawn to the veil of gloominess. Just the calm vicinity, the absence of beings around me, just the non-beingness of my being enthrals me. I open Kafka On The Shore by Haruki Murakami beside my pillow and skim through its lines. It’s an utterly mystic book, something that really puts the reader at edge. It’s an introduction to the dark, surreal, grotesque world of Murakami, something I have always enjoyed.

My battery is getting down, maybe one more song it could persist. Were it my last song ever to listen to, I would, without any hesitation, listen to some Bhansali composition. Even if it’s filled with deep melancholy and pensive sadness, I would still love to drown deeply in that ocean of melancholia. I would drink that wine of musical desolation, dip in its waves of nauseating suffocation and just amalgamate with the beauty of it.

Let my soul immerse amidst the stagnation of the world,

Let my writing draw you into my drowning soul.

Som Abhisek.