Dark Horse Arts and Sciences

(Published In The Times of Nothing, New Year Edition)

Experienced dream-catchers are invited from registered, reputed and experienced Dream-catching Agencies/ Firms/ Individuals for the following processes. 

1.  I have been having both beautiful and horrible, thrilling dreams lately. But after waking up, I tend to forget all those amazing surreal experiences. So, I want someone who is capable enough to capture those dreams for me while I’m asleep and store them so that I can relive them when I am awake or asleep again. 
2.  Last night, I was just going to kiss my crush when someone knocked on the door of my room and puff, the dream vanished from my subconscious just like a smoke in an instant. And Oh boy! I was so annoyed at that exact moment that I could have crushed that person to pieces, but forget it, it was my annoying sister. 
3.  Some days before, I had a dream in which I couldn’t finish a race, I kept running but my legs wouldn’t just move. I hated it. It always happens, why, I have no damn idea. So, I want to delve deep into those kinds of dreams and investigate (If that sounds any near logical), and see the reason behind it. 
4.  In another dream, someone took my towel out and clicked a nude picture of mine. It’s one of my most embarrassing moments in the dream world. So, I want the Dream-Catcher to retrace that dream in my memory lane and catch that person who enacted this horrendous crime and let me know so that I can punish him or her for the act in another future dream. 
5.  And the height thing. I wanna know the height of the building that I always tend to jump from in those scary, realistic dreams. I have never died though in those vivid and clearly realistic dreams, leading to the fact that either the building has a height that tends to infinity or it’s a building that has zero gravity, one of the reasons I’m not reaching the ground floor, just floating in the empty space, all alone. 
6.  And finally, remember, if you are not able to catch any of my dreams, you will be permanently stuck in a limbo inside my subconscious, never able to get rid of it. I can say, you’ll be kind of stuck inside me, and will be a part of my memory lane, forever.

So, you can apply for the above task or job, or whatever you name it, in our website,

stupiddarkdreamcatchers.co.od

Interested bidders may send their CV to the mail address mentioned above. 

Documents Required:

1.  Dream-Catcher License
2.  PAN Card
3. GSTIN
4. Minimum 8.8 CGPA in Dream Psychology, or any other subject related to Dream-Catching. 
5. Must Have Watched Inception or Paprika (Any one of them). 
6. Must Have Read Sigmund Freud’s work.

      Extra Material For Reference and Training:

1.  David Lynch’s Movies
2.  Haruki Murakami’s Books
3. Sigmund Freud’s The Interpretation of Dreams.
4.  Som Abhisek’s short stories on a website called darkhorse.art.blog.

                       Thank You.