Dark Horse Arts and Sciences

The middle state of something is very painful; you don’t know whether you are in it or not. You are utterly confused about your own state of mind as you are floating in the midst of it all; oblivious to your current perspective and completely bewildered about what to do or what not. Uncertainty and indecisiveness about the subject starts killing you inside with its pin-pointed questions about the same; whether you want to do it or not; whether you want to risk everything for this or not; whether you want to delve into a deeper well full of perplexity and disorientation. 

Then you begin questioning your own conscience as you feel like it’s you that possesses all the problems; that it’s you who is the root of all this serious confusion and unnecessary complications. 

Even if you choose against taking that risky step, the fact that you didn’t take the chance in your stride after thinking only about its aftermath, perplexes you and leaves you in a state of self-discontentedness and self-disorientation. You start beating yourself for not grabbing the opportunity with both hands despite it being present before you all along; served like luxurious dishes in front of a king or a guest in a punjabi house. But there’s no point, is it? You either had to do this or that. You had two paths to choose from, and you chose the other one. It’s always the other one, isn’t it? You always think within your mind why you didn’t take the other way; whatever the results of the present choice is. You always want something more from everything which eventually leads to your downfall in the above thought process. You start thinking absurd things like what if you could see the other side of all this; what if you could choose one and if it doesn’t materialize into something you have imagined it to be the way it is, you wish if you could just change it and take the other way around. But there is never another way. It’s always been this way and it always will be. That’s what it all is and will be, whether you like it or not.