Dark Horse Arts and Sciences

There she is. Standing right in front of me putting on a white skirt-like dress with pink stripes on, she looks out of the world; another kind of beauty that I haven’t seen until now; a kind of beauty that you once put your eyes on, you just don’t want to look back anywhere except those shady pretty eyes with dark pink lips and an elegant sharp nose on fair soft cheeks. She has that kind of aura around her when she enters the class. We are in the same class or tuition. I can’t cease to stare at her half visible face from the last bench of the classroom. Occasionally, she would look back, and I would shift my eyes so that she doesn’t notice me staring at her. We are good friends though. The fact that she is a friend of my sister kind of helps me communicate or converse with her. Whenever we talk, sometimes my eyes just can’t control themselves and give a look at her beautiful dark pink lips that utter those words. All other sounds around me come to a halt as she talks and talks and talks. Nothing disturbs or interferes with me or my mind at that exact moment of our conversation. She keeps talking and I keep listening to whatever comes out of her tiny mouth. Waves of sounds reach my small boyish mind, but my eyes have completely a different mind of their own. I try to listen to her, but my constant attraction to her lips distract me. Honestly speaking, I want to kiss her lovely lips to feel its warmth. But I just can’t. I can’t, because if I do, I would lose everything at this very exact moment; I would lose her and the friendship that is growing up day by day. 

I kept imagining about her until I fell asleep into a deep slumber. I fell into a state of nothingness and blankness and entered into another realm altogether. I entered the world of dreams somewhere in the dead of the night. And in those dreams, I saw her holding my hand and we, running through a garden of gorgeous flowers. And we were laughing a lot. The dream was so vivid and real that I couldn’t differentiate it from reality. There lay a very thin line between the world of surreal dreams and reality. But in the middle of the dream, suddenly I woke up, sensing that I have come back again to that true world. I got disappointed; disappointed at the fact that the dream had the rarest chance of turning into reality; the fact that it was only in the dream that I could hold her hands, made me baffled and cry with anger and agitation; the fact that it was only two months away before she leaves for her hometown of Rourkela, sent me to a state of despair and potential horribleness; the fact that she will no longer be a part of my already miserable life disoriented me. But I couldn’t have done anything about it. Had I anything in my hand, I wouldn’t have let her go from my life at all.

The day finally arrived when she would leave everything; all the memories, happy or sad, behind and start a new life altogether in her hometown. But a question lingered me as to why she came here in the first place if eventually she had to go away someday; as to why I met her in the first place to cause all this mental trouble. But I couldn’t have done anything. 

So she left on the final day of our seventh standard examination. I wanted to embrace her, hold her, caress her, kiss her goodbye at her farewell and just cry like in those movies. But those were just mere fantasies. I felt like some empty void was filling me inside with its nothingness. I started experiencing the bleakness and pointlessness of it all. The fact that someone arrived at a place; lived there for some days; made some memories and just left, made my mind wander with the absurdity and ludicrousness of it all. I felt like I would break down to pieces of little fragments with each one bearing the name of that beautiful girl: Aliva.